Remember giving anyone directions to your pad a while back?
Still squatting there, I hope.
Because, at that address, whether you're going out or in at dawn, or, heck, will need to stumble on it later, a... large (not... furniture-sized, but large) cardboard box will appear at the doorstep.
Wrapped in wayyyy too much duct tape. Under one of those strips of it is... a simple, folded white piece of paper.
On the underside of it - that is, that facing the box - whether this'll be seen at all, be seen via somehow managing not to shred it, or... be seen by putting the pieces back together after it is shredded, there'll be written, in black marker ink:
Merry Christmas!
With little snowflakes, bells, trees, and stick-reindeer drawn around it, and everything!
It... is February, but who cares, right?
Inside of the box, anyhoo, is... more tape, for starters, don't ask how it got there. And an abundance of... tiny white-and-primary-color balloons; apparently, someone lost patience with trying to get ahold of bubble wrap.
Floating among those, however, is...
...what certainly appears to be a large gun. About two-and-a-half feet long.
Not loaded, or anything, but there are a couple of squat cylinders also... floating indiscriminately in the package - metal, painted red. Smelling like fuel.
And, indeed, only a couple.
Should Wrench take the plunge and launch 'em - mind, only one'll fit into the barrel at a time - he'll get one approximately-twenty-foot-diameter fire-burst on each landing.
And should a reminder be necessary on where this is coming from, there's... another slip of paper, inside the package. A little more widely- and inkily-scratched out, reading:
[Not only is Wrench still squatting there, he basically owns the place now that the landlord and any other tenants have been mysteriously eaten by a monster. What a shame, what a rotten way to die, et cetera et cetera.
He does almost trip over the thing on his way back in, but it's too obvious to actually trip over it, totally, definitely.
So anyway he shoves the thing inside before giving the box a good look. Not a long look, though, because he must know what's in there, and the duct tape starts coming off. And off. And off. Man, that's a lotta tape.
He does manage to catch the weirdly festive message on his journey to the center of the package, and baffling as it is, it's not that weird, because holidays are all relative or something, whatever.
So he gets it open, and there's little balloons everywhere, which is its own kind of festive, and when he really gets into the meat of the thing...
Well, it's beautiful.
It's everything he's ever wanted.
Late Christmas and early birthday all in one.
The second he stops admiring the thing long enough to grab his laptop, he shoots off a message to Lucas. It's short, sweet, and to the point:]
Jesus fuckin' christ your lack of faith KILLS me!!! I'm gonna tell you the truth I'm probably gonna hit the woods witch soon about the whole "I can't fly" thing. Have you met Bert Allgood? He's a cool guy, vamp too though and he can fly and shapeshift into something that CAN fly easy and that's BULLSHIT!!! But LOL you know what man??? The ammo ain't too hard to make for that thing You want us two to take it on a joyride sometime I'm game.
[Ha-haaa...! Lucas knows the... being "supposed to be" freaked out by fire, so he can't... really say that much about it...!]
Some kind of bat wings right??? Or are you making something up from the ground up?????? You know what look out for him, though, username is itsallgood, him and me??? We go burning shit and smoking weed and stuff if that sounds like your idea of a good time, we should have a big boys' night one of these nights!!! HELL IF I KNOW, THOUGH Who knows??? Maybe she's mad at me for the part where I asked her to HELP ME RESCUE MY GIRLFRIEND Anyway though LOL if you try to do any reverse engineering on that baby you gotta let me in on it Either way though LET'S fucking go for some social chaos, man!!!
BAT wings, DRAGON wings, CHICKEN wings, what the fuck EVER! I've always WANTED that shit, long as it does its job.
But dude that sounds AWESOME. DEFiNITELY invite me along sometime if it's cool with him.
Being mad at someone asking for help is some MASSIVE BULLSHIT but I guess this is a place made entirely out of MASSIVE BULLSHIT so it's no big surprise.
SOCiAL CHAOS is my MIDDLE NAME dude. I think having the person who FORWARD engineered shit helping with the REVERSE would be the easiest shit in the world but hell yes help if you wanna.
Well Jesus fucking CHRIST you would think that no matter what the wings are they're still cool!!!! Anyway sounds good to me! Gonna let him know we're gonna have another in, he's said he's gonna have his brother in so if I get my girlfriend and other buddy in that SHOULD be cool with him, right??? :) It's not his bad for trying to weasel a guy in!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
02/11
Remember giving anyone directions to your pad a while back?
Still squatting there, I hope.
Because, at that address, whether you're going out or in at dawn, or, heck, will need to stumble on it later, a... large (not... furniture-sized, but large) cardboard box will appear at the doorstep.
Wrapped in wayyyy too much duct tape. Under one of those strips of it is... a simple, folded white piece of paper.
On the underside of it - that is, that facing the box - whether this'll be seen at all, be seen via somehow managing not to shred it, or... be seen by putting the pieces back together after it is shredded, there'll be written, in black marker ink:
Merry Christmas!
With little snowflakes, bells, trees, and stick-reindeer drawn around it, and everything!
It... is February, but who cares, right?
Inside of the box, anyhoo, is... more tape, for starters, don't ask how it got there. And an abundance of... tiny white-and-primary-color balloons; apparently, someone lost patience with trying to get ahold of bubble wrap.
Floating among those, however, is...
...what certainly appears to be a large gun. About two-and-a-half feet long.
Not loaded, or anything, but there are a couple of squat cylinders also... floating indiscriminately in the package - metal, painted red. Smelling like fuel.
And, indeed, only a couple.
Should Wrench take the plunge and launch 'em - mind, only one'll fit into the barrel at a time - he'll get one approximately-twenty-foot-diameter fire-burst on each landing.
And should a reminder be necessary on where this is coming from, there's... another slip of paper, inside the package. A little more widely- and inkily-scratched out, reading:
Still hungry for some roast pork?]
no subject
He does almost trip over the thing on his way back in, but it's too obvious to actually trip over it, totally, definitely.
So anyway he shoves the thing inside before giving the box a good look. Not a long look, though, because he must know what's in there, and the duct tape starts coming off. And off. And off. Man, that's a lotta tape.
He does manage to catch the weirdly festive message on his journey to the center of the package, and baffling as it is, it's not that weird, because holidays are all relative or something, whatever.
So he gets it open, and there's little balloons everywhere, which is its own kind of festive, and when he really gets into the meat of the thing...
Well, it's beautiful.
It's everything he's ever wanted.
Late Christmas and early birthday all in one.
The second he stops admiring the thing long enough to grab his laptop, he shoots off a message to Lucas. It's short, sweet, and to the point:]
DUUUUUUUUUUUDE.
[He likes it!]
no subject
Except he was totally all bound-up thinkin' about how Wrench was going to react.
He practically slaps up his laptop grinning and giggling up a storm...!]
Who died???
[Cute.]
no subject
Some guy I ate before I practically tripped over this shit but that's beside the point.
[Ha ha.]
But DUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!! This requires A LOT of exclamation points !!!!!!!!!!
You're THE BeST, dude.
no subject
Aaaaand onward, let 'im take a bow.]
Awwwww so you got it???
[You left it on his friggin' doorstep, Lucas, stop playing aw-shucks.]
Just don't prove me wrong in thinking it's gonna be in damn good hands, brother!
>:)
[Did you... just...]
no subject
[He is like thiiis close to finding something to try it out on, but he's not sure if he should waste the ammo before he gets some backups.]
These hands are the best hands it could be in, dude. Trust me, you're not gonna regret SHiT.
no subject
You know vampires can fly right??
[Yeah.
Some vampires, Lucas.
You are not one of those vampires.
You actively complained about not being able to fly where Wrench could see it once.
Buuut anyhoo. Jokes.]
You're welcome though.
Still you're gonna have to get out there and show that you can keep your promises!
Get out there and party, man!!!
no subject
[But it would still totally be cool.]
I make no promises, except this one.
I'm all ITCHY about trying it out but I gotta find the PERFECT opportunity. I think I got some good IDEAS percolating though.
no subject
I'm gonna tell you the truth I'm probably gonna hit the woods witch soon about the whole "I can't fly" thing.
Have you met Bert Allgood? He's a cool guy, vamp too though and he can fly and shapeshift into something that CAN fly easy and that's BULLSHIT!!!
But LOL you know what man???
The ammo ain't too hard to make for that thing
You want us two to take it on a joyride sometime I'm game.
no subject
Except I also keep getting FREAKED OUT around FIRE so I think I gotta do something about that too.
I don't think I know that guy though but yeah that IS bullshit, why can't you do that shit??
But anyway oh fuck yes. I was gonna reverse engineer this shit anyway but we definitely gotta hang out so why not EXPLOSIVELY hang out??
no subject
Some kind of bat wings right???
Or are you making something up from the ground up??????
You know what look out for him, though, username is itsallgood, him and me??? We go burning shit and smoking weed and stuff if that sounds like your idea of a good time, we should have a big boys' night one of these nights!!!
HELL IF I KNOW, THOUGH
Who knows??? Maybe she's mad at me for the part where I asked her to HELP ME RESCUE MY GIRLFRIEND
Anyway though LOL if you try to do any reverse engineering on that baby you gotta let me in on it
Either way though LET'S fucking go for some social chaos, man!!!
no subject
But dude that sounds AWESOME. DEFiNITELY invite me along sometime if it's cool with him.
Being mad at someone asking for help is some MASSIVE BULLSHIT but I guess this is a place made entirely out of MASSIVE BULLSHIT so it's no big surprise.
SOCiAL CHAOS is my MIDDLE NAME dude. I think having the person who FORWARD engineered shit helping with the REVERSE would be the easiest shit in the world but hell yes help if you wanna.
no subject
Anyway sounds good to me! Gonna let him know we're gonna have another in, he's said he's gonna have his brother in so if I get my girlfriend and other buddy in that SHOULD be cool with him, right??? :) It's not his bad for trying to weasel a guy in!
no subject
Sounds like a fucking PARTY, man! I am down for WHATEVER, WHENEVER. Lemme know and I'll THROW OUT my SCHeDULe.