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[wrenchinald]

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UN: Mayor of Junkertown | Text

[legitmate]

R U DA BLOK IN DA MAZK????

un: WRENCH

[wrenchinald]

Couuuuld beeeee. Who may I ask is calling?

[legitmate]

U MAY
N I APPRECATE UR POLITNESS

IM JAMISON K FAWKES
SON 2 B DA NEW MAYR OF THIS PLACE
GDAY

U WANT N ON OR MAYR BUZNEZ???

[wrenchinald]

Oh shit you're the one who doesn't suck!!

You want me in on your shit? Can I be prime minister of sledgehammers?

[legitmate]

THNK BIGGA THN THT!!!!!!!

PRNCZ OF EXPLOSIONS!!!!

( australia was a monarchy, somehow. fuck if he gets how it's supposed to work in the real world. )

[wrenchinald]

Oh my god im so honored YES ABSOLUTELY.

What do I gotta do???

[legitmate]

BRNG ME 400000 DOLLAZ

[wrenchinald]

AW COME ON THIS WAS A MONEY SCAM THE WHOLE TIME??????

[legitmate]

NO NO
BT
IF IT WZ A MONEY SCAM
WHT WLD B DA BES WY 2 DO DAT

NFTS??? FON CALS FRM NIGERYA???

[wrenchinald]

I'd be more into a bank heist.

Anyway I don't have any of my usual methods of securing funds here so you're shit outta luck.

[legitmate]

2 RIT
NOTHIN MOR FUN THN A HEIST
DON IT LOODS A TIMZ

BESIDZ WE DON WANT UR MONY
WE WANT UR BRANZ

[wrenchinald]

Why didn't you ask for that first??

I'm listening.

[legitmate]

BC I HADDA TST UR LOYLTEE
U PASSED
GOD ON U MT

CUM MEET ALL PROPR LIK WIT ME 2DAY

[wrenchinald]

Hah, I bet if I actually brought you the money you'd still take it.

Where you at?

[legitmate]

SUR HOO WOLDNT????

N IM UNDA DA BRDGE!! WHERE U AT????

[wrenchinald]

I'm at the hotel. Dunno which environment you prefer.

[legitmate]

BRDG M8
WEN U WANT SOMTHN DUN U GOTA DO IT UNDA A BRDG

[wrenchinald]

Totally understandable!!

see ya soon!

[Once he locates the requisite bridge, he heads on over, a sledgehammer resting on his shoulder. Y'know, just in case.]

Helloooo?

[legitmate]

( under the bridge, junkrat can be found piloting around a remote controlled car which he's made some adjustments to. the toy car pours lighter fluid wherever it goes, and a trail of flames steadily chases after it, following the path of oil the cars laid down.

junkrat himself is little more than a shadow at this point, so black and radiating with so much smoke that he's hardly recognizable as a person at first glance.

once he's being called out to, he forgets about the car and looks up to wrench. in his excitement, he forgets to keep the car ahead of the flames and, in those few seconds that he stops piloting it, the fire catches up and the toy car explodes. )

Oi, Mask Face! Ya' made it!

[wrenchinald]

Despite your directions, [he jokes, but his attention is more on the car, or more accurately the aftermath thereof. His mask flashes a pair of hearts before he finally looks over at Junkrat, or what is apparently Junkrat based on process of elimination.

Neat!]

Nice car. [Exploding does not stop it from being a nice car.] Sooo, what's on the agenda for today?

[legitmate]

Right, right. We got a lot to discuss.

( he takes a seat on the ground and crosses his legs. there's still a fire going on beside him, but he doesn't look all that concerned. )

We want ya' on, mate. Me an' Ryu. You get the plot; none a' these other heifers around here do. Help us get rid a' all the stuffy rules, and you'll get a spot right there beside us.

King, Queen, and Prince!

( that's the one and only rule of business; make it worth someone's while. )

[wrenchinald]

[It's a totally reasonable place to carry out business. The fire adds atmosphere. Wrench sits down to face him, setting his sledgehammer gently on the ground.]

Oh man, you got that right. You see what that wife guy did the other day? Trying to mash these assholes into the political system is just asking for absolute garbage. Better to just smash the state.

[He suspects the names are just for figurehead/sounding cool reasons, which is just fine by him.]

So yeah, I'm down. I have plenty of experience raging against the machine.

[legitmate]

Where I'm from, politics went tits up a long time ago. We got a reeeeeal big arena set up, and whoever comes out on top is our Queen! Or our King. Doesn't really matter, so long as someone ends up in charge. And someone on the other side gets blown up, a' course.

( while junkrat hasn't competed in the reckoning himself, he's sure he could go toe-to-toe with any of his 'political rivals'. )

Think we could turn that baseball field into a battle pit?

[wrenchinald]

Sounds fun. [Not that he'd necessarily participate, as the prize isn't really his bag, but he'd totally watch.] I'd prefer if we didn't need any kind of leader, but I guess we gotta take baby steps.

[...no gods, no masters, but he's not giving up the "prince of explosions" title, okay???]

I think we could turn anything into a battle pit. Baseball fields definitely have the space for it.

[legitmate]

Oh, sure. That's just in the city. Out in the wastes, it's anything goes. Only law we got is the law of takin' thing into our own two hands!

( he throws out his hands to emphasize this, which also shows that he doesn't have two hands, really, but one hand. the other is made of scrap metal and bolts. )

You wanna make San Benedicto into it's own Outback, do ya'? My kinda guy!